Why do i treat my girlfriend badly

Some information may no longer be current. In the beginning, we were all over each other and very much in love.

Over the past 10 months, I disconnected with her and neglected her. I just want our great emotional connection to come back. I know I was the one who messed everything up, and I want to know how to fix it. This woman is amazing, and I know she is the one for me. Early on in my year marriage to my out-of-my-league wife, I started to feel a little grumpy that I was always the one who seemed to pine and yearn and initiate.

She is and always has been the type of woman who could snap her fingers and dudes would come out of the woodwork, from behind the ficus, pop out of bushes, slither out of the tall grass. So I decided simply to shower her with love, and not worry about it. And do you know something? It worked. Turns out showering a person with love is kind of like showering a plant with water. Below are six of the most common tendencies in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear.

Get the tissues ready. This is a double-whammy of suckage. People spend all of their time trying to be less wrong for each other instead of being more right for each other. What you should do instead: Deal with issues individually unless they are legitimately connected. You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.

What it is: Instead of stating a desire or thought overtly, your partner tries to nudge you in the right direction of figuring it out yourself. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. What you should do instead: State your feelings and desires openly.

What it is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis.

Otherwise people will suppress their true thoughts and feelings which leads to an environment of distrust and manipulation. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing. One can be committed to someone and not like everything about them.

One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only without judgment or blackmail, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.

They got distracted when you hugged them. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.

So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. Sure, you never asked, but they should just know to make you feel better. They should have gotten off the phone and ditched their plans based on your lousy emotional state. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times and vice-versa , you will develop codependent tendencies. All activities at home—even the mundane ones like reading books or watching TV—must be negotiated and compromised.

Because there can be different imbalances within the relationship, including a third, neutral party may also be helpful in obtaining growth within the relationship without losing oneself. A third party can also provide additional psycho-education on active listening and communication issues that may be present as well. If you and your girlfriend are both interested, we have a variety of therapists at Insight Psychological who are able to support both of you in working through this issue.

If your girlfriend is not open to the idea of seeking support, I would suggest individual counselling for yourself. With the support of a therapist, you will be able to strengthen your assertiveness and communication skills that can be utilized during situations that you may feel mistreated. In addition, developing and strengthening boundaries for yourself can also be beneficial, not only in this particular relationship, but other relationships in your life. Now offering a book online option to allow you to access therapist availabilities when it is convenient for you.

Why does my girlfriend treat me so badly?